My Journey Towards the Black Hole : Part Three

Please read the last part of the story (Contd……..)

When I finished reading everything she wrote , another mountain of challenge stood , where could I find her. At first I thought I can find her college…but that seemed impossible , this was to be done secretly , if I talked loud about her possession , she would not be happy with me , that was for sure . The college-job was only her part time job , she worked for an NGO too ( but she didn’t name it ).

There were few professional stuffs too, in  the Prescy , they were research reports  about children. There were so many organizations in Kathmandu that work for children, so where to contact? I was confused, I could send it as a public notice in the local FMs and newspapers  but I knew it would offend her , as the world would get interested in what exactly was there  in her MP3.

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My Journey Towards the Black Hole: Part Two

Last time , This young man was waiting for somebody at the rear of the Bagmati bridge and was recalling how he  found a purplish portable player .What’s more happening and going on ? Please read out .

That night I slept with my jacket, Jeans and shoes on . I slept like a log for more than 13 hours.  Sleep was never sound like this , was it because a great source of boredom was cleared away of my path or because of the good omen that purple little thing brought into my life ?

That afternoon , I took the Mp3 player out of my pocket and into my hand….with a little inspection , it occurred to me that it must not be malfunctioned for it seemed wholesome , never been trampled but only the color was receded away faintly . I wanted to play it . But it would need a jack that I did not had. Portable players never fascinated me even as a teenager and a simple pen drive would work these days. I went to new road and bought a jack.

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My Journey Towards the Black Hole: Part One

This is the story I wrote almost two years back, out of anxiety . The story is about a mans romantic and erotic fantasy and journey towards the Black Whole..I happen to write it by recollecting my fancies when a purplish MP3 Player of mine was half-trampled  by the tire of a micro-bus( But it functioned anyway).I have shown this story to few of my friends, my close readerships, thats all, and this is not some big affair, not some big emotion, just some emotions and anxieties in fragments. And Hey , I must mention that ,I wrote it after reading Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri .Back then, a strong passion for short stories had surged up irresistibly, fanatically .Thanks to a friend of mine who encouraged me to post it in this blog.I will post this story in 3 parts , turn by turn, because I want to have some curiosity raised. And Thanks for everyone, who would read it .

My pace was never swift like this. Direction was never decisive like this. Dream was never close like this. Air was never evoking like this. Every step I moved was taking me a mile ahead. This my journey was towards the final settlement. This my journey was towards the black hole. This my journey was towards the Bermuda Triangle. This my journey was towards the quicksand. This my journey was towards the Far farther farthest..Deep deeper deepest towards somewhere I belong.towards somebody I truly belong.

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To Tagore…

Last night, I gave some “pondering” over Tagore, the reasonist, the educationist, the reformist and the romancer. I read of him recently and was amazed by the contradictions in his life. Lemmi bullet some points

  • He happens to be the only lyricist in the world, whose songs are sung as National Anthem by two nation simultaneously, i.e India ( Jana Gana Mana) and Bangladesh (Amar Sonar Bangla).
  • Tagore had even argued with Einstein over the nature of truth. Tagore believed in absoluteness of the truth, he argued, “Will Hellen cease to be beautiful if all the human beings die ? “. It is said that even Einstein agreed this absoluteness of truth ( especially in case of beauty)

    Einstein & Tagore

    Tagore with Einstein

  • Being a perfect Bengoli Brahmin,his life and works are greatly affected by the three ‘clashing’ civilization, Hindu, Moslem and christianity.
  • He was a school dropout, he never did his diploma but was such an ardent educationist that he opened the skool “Shantiniketan” in kolkata that produced many great Indians like Indira Gandhi, Satyajit Ray, Amrtya Sen and the list goes on. I choked on my tea when I read that ,sometimes, they wud not have any exams in the skool
  • His (Platonic ?) relationship with his sister-in-law,her suicide after his marriage  and his works on her comemmoration.
  • His uninitiated, unadvanced rapport with few other Foreign girls( He remained unmarried after the death of his wife after the 9th year of thier marriage)
  • It was Tagore who addressed Gandhi as Mahatma. Tagore Thought Gandhi to be the greatest man of his time, but with much reservation, despite the ambvialnt appriciation for each other, they both had a huge contradiction, let me put here some, Gandhi was a diehard nationalsit but Tagore was a diehard Humanist. Gandhi thought the spinning of one’s own fabric ( Charkha aandolan) can be a great move towrds the self-realization, self- relaince of Indian independent culture and economy, whilst, Tagore thought it to be the Education that can help Indians with self-realization and self-realiance. Because this rationlist man “Tagore” revered reason as the most important element of humanlife. He said “No one actually have to ‘think’ anything while spinning” .

    Tagore with Gandhi

    Tagore with Gandhi

  • W. B Yeats, Ejra Pound and other prominient western writers of that time loved Tagore so much so that Yeats even helped him translating “Geetanjali”…but later on, those writers changed their views towards him, scathingly castigating him afterwards.
  • He was also a great Painter
  • He renounced his knighthood after the Amritsar Mascarre

There are much more fascinating facts .Bengoli language and litreture in India still happens to be the most sophisticated one. May be its Tagore’s contribution that there are great Bengal names in Indian Litreture, education and even in Cinema.

( Inspired by The Amartya Sen’s essay on Tagore in the book “The Argumentative Indians”)

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow
 domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the
 dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought
 and action–
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

      — Rabindranath Tagore

Three Thoughts

At first, I was thinking of writing about “Living with Mendacity”. You eat mendacity, you wear mendacity, you breath mendacity, you sleep mendacity and you live mendacity, while life’s ultimate purpose is to do away with mendacity.

This “mendacity” thing camse even as a question deserving 10 marks at exam.N I did it, coz I knew how Mendacity existed in life.

At First I refused going  through “Cat on a hot tin roof” . I was appalled by its absurdist touch.but as I went through willy nilly , I found it superb. I like it to the extent that is not plausible.And from there, came this “mendacity ” stuff.Mendacity came as big as the sky, encompassing everything. I hated Mendacity as I realized its unescapable, prodigious presence.

And then I thought of writing about “gendered life” . Tyo pani “Half way Gendered”. It also came up with some 10 marks question.You cant help being affected when you devor down a 100-page article.I was hugely identified with life, with schooling , with tending.

anyways, Thirdly , I thought about leaving, with a promise of coming up with sth better next time . I m blogging nonsense here because I am not seeing any sense in anything. But still, I am scavenging. Lets see, what comes up next.

Just Nothing

So many things happened since I posted the last entry . It was 5 months . For sometimes , I was in maountainious trip with DOKO , and then , suddenly the site dysfunctioned . After a long trial and wait, finally , I can write something in it . Thank God .

Not much to write though . Exam’s running. its frustrating and prostrating . At work, things are fine. I have been writing essays . It’s really nice to meet good people , discovering the layers of their core beliefs . This is my cup of tea, and can identify myself with this .