धारिलो घुम्तिमा जिन्दगी
Happy new year 2065..oops! 2066
Cheers to the new beginning!
Sometimes beginnings ain’t so simple
and sometimes goodbye’s the only way….
take all the jealosy and selfishness and meanness with you
take away the fatigues,the lethargies,the scarcity
sweep away the hatred…..
Bring the harmony,the integration, the peace of mind,
the little happiness that’s on my part
Let me wake up everymorning in your arms
with the tinglish hangover of the love
that reigns all night all over
Let life remain the same, crispy,wispy,syrupy
steal my loquacity,lemmi steal your reticence
Let’s come together………!as 2066 steals in secretly
रंगियो सिउँदो रंगायो सिंदुरले
बगायो बगायो बगायो मलाइ
सपना हो यो भनेदेखी
अर्को जन्म पाएँ भने
एउटा जून आकाशमा एउटा मेरो काख
जिन्दगीको पुग्यो धोको दैव दियौ लाख
हाम्रो माया चोखो भए यसको लाज राख
यसको लाज राख
जता हेर्छु उतै तिमी मेरो वरिपरी
निदरीमा झझल्कोले उठ्छु घरिघरी
तिमी बिना आखाँ मेरो साउनको झरी
जिवन मेरो के पो होला बिना तिम्रो माया
तिमी जान्छौ जतातिर उतै लाग्छु छायाँ
एकै मन एकै मुटु दुई हाम्रो काया
दुई हाम्रो काया
तिम्रो बेला मनमा बज्छ नरेटेरै पनि
टाढै देख्दा प्यास मर्छ नभेटेरै पनि
सपना हो यो भनेदेखी
अर्को जन्म पाएँ भने
सपना हो यो भनेदेखी….
You never knew
that after you left I stayed
by the impression on the ground where you’d lain
I drew my hand
over the flattened grass and it was
as if I needed and cherished your absence more
than I needed and cherished you
(an extract from the poem SUSPENDED by Bruno K.Oijer from The Lost Words,translated from Swedish by Tom Geddes)
Life’s a roller-coaster.I am mothering my mother.feels strange.
When I wake up, I feel good carresing her sleeping beside me.Then hot water,light breakfast,medicine,and what wud she like for brunch!!A Big No No to Bhaat!!what then? Chapati/Pudding/Porridge?Makaiko Bhaat?…I m so worried,till she eats well, like a mother worries for her child abstaining food.Then tending her at Sunbeam,hourly glass of water, milk, soup ..medicine..sometimes this sometimes that…sometimes she disobeys,sometimes she cries,sometimes she unfolds old stories…..and I am all here, all in charge of her…Just thinking,this might have been the exact way she had mothered me.But the difference being that,I must have been too demanding,ununderstanding,but she has always been demure and docile………………………………….
So..just thinking..what a roller coaster,this life is…
IOL aftermaths. Last night I dreamt of cycling down the mountain lanes through a sheer madness of mountain under the creeping darkness and thuds and pats of incessant rain. I was letting myself winding down like Sai, tears flowing, towards an unknown landscape of darkness. And by the time I reached the bottom of the mountain, I was surrounded by a mass of rioters and they robbed me like Biju from USA, Yamricka, Amricka.Panick-striken, I sought a shelter in a small,dark,dingy hot like that of the Cook’s. And the grins and grimace, twists and twirls in the Judge’s face, while he was shoving Nimi’s face down the toilet seat kept on gnawing my mind, nibbling as if electrocuting. And I cursed Gyan with the surging wrath and scorn, the fine dough of MOMO’s skin was squeezing the coy mutton keema inside hard, such a cruel toss of fate, prejudice, and humiliation. And I felt like baffled in the ragged-jute-bag and stolen away like Mutt, never to come back. Oh Yamricka Amricka, the golden land, the land of hot dogs and dry martini, now having abandoned thy…Where am I to head? With all but the inheritance of defeat, humiliation and submission!!
But someone has said, “Follow your heart”. That’s what I am doing. Sai, yes…Let’s run away together…
nothing’s coming to mind. Cold’s eating my head out. Mum does not eat much.Couldn’t finish the task I was suppposed to do. Couldnt go to the college tour. PPl are angry with me.Blog’s angry with me.My word’s are angry with me.
Waiting for the EOU.Hope thr will be sm sort of cleansing and new begining.
All I am doing is praying .